Let me tell you about the time when I thought my anxiety attacks would remain with me forever. The fear would come at me wherever I was, which was irrational, considering I was around people who were comfortable and going about their own lives. This entirely subjective perception of a threat was very real to me, and surely enough, my body would react like I was being physically attacked. Losing consciousness would feel like a blessing, even if I knew that I would probably end up in some grocery’s backroom, with a doctor.

The effects of anxiety disorders, especially generalized types, can differ from one person to another. I’ve heard some people experiencing the feeling of being strangled, or those that feel the ground give way. I know for sure that most people fear the attack of anxiety itself, more than the many fears that besiege them during the attack.

I’ve gotten used to strange looks from others when I would act like something’s about to happen. If it weren’t for the bills, I would not go out of the house anymore. Even without anyone telling me, I knew I needed to let go of the feelings of apprehension and dread. But like a habit, I think of the fears and I still feel restless.

What worked for me, or has kept working for me, is not one entity but two.

1. My Family’s Support

Even my extended family did not know what I was going through. They didn’t understand what was happening. Although embarrassed about it, I had to talk about my problems with someone. Fortunately, there’s a wealth of information over the internet on anxiety attacks so I didn’t have to explain in detail what I was going through.

Although they didn’t really do much in the way of helping me recover, just knowing that they knew what I was going through, and that they’d always welcome me in gatherings even if they knew about my troubles, made telling them worth it. I could relax around them and have fun. When I’m around them, there was no hint of any anxiety attack coming on. I realized that I could replicate this kind of relaxed feeling with other people, like my officemates and my bosses, even if I don’t tell them directly that I am suffering from anxiety.

2. Self Help

When you have trouble concentrating on anything because you’re too jumpy, it’s difficult to pull yourself out of bed to watch a Linden DVD on how to control anxiety attacks. But with enough determination, this is doable. You can take charge of your life and not end up miserable. You can’t forever be obsessed about the worst case scenario. Be a joy again to everyone you meet, and reclaim your life.

Self help books are handy and can be brought anywhere. But CDs are better if you want to simply listen without straining your eyes. You’ll find out more about people who were going through what you are now going through, and how they succeeded in conquering anxiety.

If you’re trying to learn how to calm anxiety, there are several things you should know.

– everyone gets anxious.
– anxiety is a normal feeling.
– if the threat is real, your anxiety is justified.

For clear and present danger, you should understand that you are reacting like any person would. That pain in your stomach and the urge to flee is your body’s way of bracing itself for the threat. If the threat is emotional, you tend to get the same feeling as when the threat is physical. Normal responses to the actual source of fear are not an issue.

When do you know that your anxiety is not normal?

If you start showing signs of fearing imaginary threats and reacting with anxiety in situations that normally wouldn’t seem threatening, then you may have a problem. For instance, consider the following:

– Crowds and being inside a building with several other people is not something to be worried about, but somehow, your mind is telling you that an earthquake will happen and you need to get out fast.

– You stand on the podium about to speak to a group of people and your mind tells you that everyone’s expecting you to make a mistake. You can almost hear the snickers from afar, and even from the people at the back.

– it’s a normal day at home and the kids aren’t home. You have a premonition that you’re imagining things and that you don’t actually have a family. You’re waiting for nothing and you seem to be under the illusion that people need you.

These imagined fears can lead to the same kind of anxiety that happens when there is an actual threat around. What’s worse is that the panic is unjustified, so your mind conjures more possibilities that seem more horrible than the last. This is what happens when a person has a panic attack. Some don’t even know what’s causing it, but there’s no denying that the fear is persisting no matter what they do.

If you’ve ever experienced this, you should be alarmed, but not so alarmed that you think you will never get through it. There are many people that have gone through this phase and still stay happy living their lives. There’s always therapy, and there are self-help books out there that will tell you about the treatments.

What can you do to learn how to calm anxiety when you’re neck deep in it? Here’s a quick way to relax: affirm. Make sure you channel your energy into constructive thought and you’ll feel better immediately. Constructive affirmations remind you that your fears are not real. Telling yourself to calm down, breathe and relax will help you relax.

If this isn’t enough, light a scented candle, preferably that containing essential oils. Put on a good CD and listen to music for a few minutes. Sometimes, you just have to regain your balance for everything to make sense again. Don’t let the fear close in on you, and don’t pop an antidepressant every time you feel like the fear is coming back.

I was talking to a friend the other day and he suddenly asked “why can’t you relax?” I was taken aback. Even when I’m not saying anything, it seems that my anxiety disorder is showing itself through my actions. I wondered if it bothered my friend that I seemed tense, but before I started worrying about that, too, I just reminded myself that he is my friend so he can tell.

What I did was I took a deep breath and laughed as I exhaled. I admitted that while we’re talking about mundane things, I was worrying about anything and nothing, as I always do. I should just relax because there’s nothing threatening about having a nice chat with a long time friend over sandwiches. As soon as I thought of that, I felt the tension ease all over my body.

Body language gives away what you’re feeling. If your mind isn’t relaxed, no amount of pretending will hide the anxiety in your demeanor for long. Anxiety makes you seem tense, even when you should be relaxing. Most of the time, you don’t even know you’re tensing up. It’s no surprise that panic attacks happen to anxiety sufferers at any time. They can’t relax anywhere, and this kind of tension translates to physical problems like chest pains and blurring vission.

So… relax. It’s the best way to calm your anxiety. Here are some tips on how to relax.

Visualize

One way to stop being too reactive is to take a moment and visualize a scene that relaxes you. If you’ve seen the Aegean sea in all its splendour and you cannot forget the sight, use that. If you could stare at the cloudless night sky for hours just looking at the stars, use that. It’s just for a second or two but it does the trick. Of course, your regular breathing exercises should also be a priority while you’re visualizing.

Breathing Exercises

One of the signs that you’re tense is that you’re not breathing right. Sometimes, you can’t help it. So, you have to force it. Breathing exercises are described in detail in several self help anti-anxiety books and CDs like Linden. Do the exercises and let your body memorize the feeling of being totally comfortable just letting air in and out of your body.

Have Clean Fun

Looking for things you love to do can be difficult if you’re stressed. Stop thinking that every move you make could cost you. Your mental health and disposition should also be one of your top priorities, especially if you already know you have anxiety disorder. If you smile a lot, and forget about your worries regularly, you can build up a lot of resistance against anxiety attacks. In fact, you will find out that doing something fun can relax you like no other activity can.

If you’re like most anxiety-ridden people, you often get self-conscious when faced with the prospect of meeting others. To some, it goes beyond that. They feel nauseous when giving a speech or being interviewed for a job. Among the types of anxiety disorders, social anxiety can make you the most miserable. This social phobia can derail your efforts to perform well in the work place and built a lasting relationship.

Don’t mistake social anxiety with shyness, which is the default term for people who act nervous in social situations. A shy person is not debilitated by fear; he can open up when prompted, with as much comfort as a naturally gregarious person. Social anxiety has a lot to do with the fear of being embarrassed. You imagine scenarios where people are laughing at you because of what you do in a social interaction.

Needless to say, you could get worse if you don’t conquer this fear now. You can start by using the Linden method. Here are some more things you can do to fight back against social phobia.

How to Calm Your Social Anxiety By Controlling What You Think

1. Think “Breathe”

Breathing exercises are a part of any therapy against any anxiety disorder. When you get to a point where you can’t breathe because of nerves, you can use the default breathing exercise that you’ve gotten used to.

2. Think “They Don’t Know I’m Nervous”

The thing is, most socially anxious people turn inward rather than outward. The reality is that many people around you have their own troubles. The woman in the corner may be waiting for her date, who hasn’t called her in the last hour. The bartender may be waiting desperately for his break time so that he can fix his wedgie or scratch his back in the men’s room. Other people are not looking at you, and they don’t really know you unless you make a scene by fainting or sulking for hours in a corner. They’re not looking and they don’t care.

3. Think “It’s Not So Bad”

A social situation is not as bad as you think. There is no one in the room who took dancing lessons for years with a professional. No one has gone through a lot of trouble to train in public speaking school just to be able to function socially. All the people there are mingling to have fun, and so should you. Walk around, smile a bit and experience what it’s like to just be in a place where there are a lot of people around.

4. Think “The World’s Not Going to End”

If you tell a joke and no one laughs, the world’s not going to end. If you slip or dance like it’s your first time dancing, the world will continue on. You will go through the motions of waving goodbye to the people you met and riding a cab home, regardless of the experiences you had in the social gathering. The thing is, there is always a next time to practice your social skills again.